Immeasurable Passion

Balance
I am cosmic dust! 
Wandering through space I arrive clad in flesh and blood...
and as a human spark I land in this world completely foreign to me...
I immediately realize that the journey will be arduous and that in order to catch my breath I have to breathe deeply and shout out loud...
very loud, to mark, right now, my territory, where, with my eyes wide open, I observe everything and everyone with astonishment and ask myself, absolutely ignorant that I am, how to proceed, and so I go...
without even knowing why and without understanding anything, immersed only in deep emotions and never overcome by time, I begin to crawl on this thin, elastic, tenuous and so fragile thread that is called LIFE!
Consequently, I feel the importance of balancing myself, an unqualified balance most of the time, but completely necessary if I am to stand upright! 
Steady! 
Stretched...
The four winds sway me bravely and blow wildly, screaming to the heavens that I will fall, but I insistently stand there, 
stubborn that I am... 
I must remain upright!
It doesn’t matter if they are just playing with my hair or just mocking my fear of not slipping, of crashing to the ground.
The crowd around me is great, some lift me up others keep me static, neither forward nor backward, some revere me, many try to bring me down, but very few hold my hands and carry me through...  
I’m still on the path...
I go... I come back, I stop!
I stop, I come back, I go...
Where to?
Why? 
For what?
I always start again, always taking care to restart details...
I cut out uncertain clippings, reinventing paths that I make a point of reliving,
To cross new worlds!!
I just want to get off the ground and not be average! 
I want to conquer the THERE!
But the middle constantly reigns supreme....
Reminding me of my damn mediocrity....
There is an uncertain route that I don’t know where it leads... 
Sharp curves hide the destination that awaits me...
sharp bends are ready to make me skid...
I will then go up, I will ascend, I will crown.... 
NO! 
I go down...
so... but so low... that I almost penetrate Hades, and I feel Persephone’s hot breath...
Then I go up... down... I throw myself all over the place!
I want to experience the limit of EVERYTHING and of NOTHING!
I want to reach beyond... 
far beyond the edge of the world ... I want to throw myself ...
to hum my insides against the wall and go through it absolute...
I want to dream!
Every dream dreamed is a cherished expectation, anything can happen, for better or for worse, just turn the next corner...
I want to have access to these little fragments that guide my life, which appear in the early morning hours, like scrambled pieces that bring so much confusion... I feel lost... completely without ground... other times they are so objective that they clearly explain their reason...
but when I catch myself dreaming with my eyes open, I see my most sublime desires... these are my dreamed, intended, longed for dreams... they are pieces of something that I carry hidden in my soul, a treasure buried in the middle of my chest and that no one but myself can dream of, access...
I’m thinking again about the thread...
The compass goes crazy and sometimes points north, sometimes south 
Do I go east or west? 
I’m going this way...
I gain strength! 
It’s midday sun, I can’t see my shadow. I am just a spot of light, which insists on appearing to the world...
I need to risk... 
I almost plummet down this steep cliff, uncertain, not at all 
sure...
I must have the courage to go far, very far... far from everything... far from nothing... 
but the thread insists on moving, wobbles, goes up too high, comes down suddenly...
this oscillation suffocates me... 
I choke on this insane dash on slippery strings...
I recover...
TIME... time... TIME... time...tiiiiiiime
Which path to take? 
I’m going after the rainbow, the golden dreams! 
Wow, what happiness... 
I have my self intoxicated with so much pleasure... 
I want it to last for eternity... 
everything now is smiles, laughter that echoes loudly!
What a delight to be accompanied by so much ecstasy! 
Time folds present me with unusual, intoxicating presences... I want to remain like this... still... just enjoying 
all of this...
But I can’t... again the time
Time... time... that swings the thread scribbling the air...
I look! 
I see something emerging, what can it be? 
New perspectives surround me... 
gnawing at the ropes on which I am settled...
they are my own shadows that appear to haunt me... 
sneaking up on me...
time... 
dark time... nefarious time... 
dark gray...
time... time... time... time... time... time...
Barbed wires cut my feet along the way... 
but I don’t give up and I go... I lunge... I tear myself apart... I keep going... I don’t stop... I keep going...
step by step, on tiptoe I balance myself awkwardly, trying to avoid the fall that is looming...
Time… time… 
Nothing is eternal... everything changes... everything passes... time changes all the time... time...
time that passes by buzzing, time that passes by delayed, time that passes by drifting, time that passes by dragging on...
time... time... TIME!
This constant ally that accompanies me wherever I go, 
sticks to me and makes me remember that I don’t have all the time I want... that I need... that I claim...
Now I’ve stopped! 
Zeroed again!
I have stalled! 
I am lost... I can’t restart...
Shadows pursue me... I can’t think straight, heavy, curled, consumed moments haunt me, leave me inert....
All the time I oscillate, all the time I get lost on the way and return...
Why?
Why?
Unexpected births, conquered loves, unbridled passions, announced deaths, pass at a gallop during my agonized stay in this thread unfolded along the way...
What happens to me? 
Why have I stalled? 
Why can’t I take the next step?
I can’t stop!
I turn to lost dreams.
I dive into colorful, past moments that tame my thoughts 
and bring me back to the extended thread that swings before me bravely!!! 
Time... time... time... time... time...
Now I know how to steer my ship, 
I travel through wild seas, 
I watch the violence of the fire, 
I hold firm the storm in my sails, 
What matters now is to get ashore safe, where the mirrors reflect my selves, my soul in pieces...
I am multiple and I see myself there, totally cut out...
I don’t understand ... 
I keep searching for myself in the reflected pieces... 
I try and succeed in rescuing some of my crumbs in this immensity ahead...
Light, love, shadows, prudence, tenderness, affection, obscurities affront me, mingle deeply... to be able to balance between these antagonistic feelings is surreal...
While time runs, galloping against itself, the red that runs hot in my veins rushes past screaming for another day here, but it, time, warns me subtly whispering in my ears that the thread can no longer hold me, that it is time to take courage and launch myself once and for all into empty space... 
my soul is now free and very slowly...
without any hurry... 
and without any fear...
I simply... 
allow myself to leave... 
looking again for a place in eternity...
My time is up.